Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful or even doing everyday activities. At the bottom of every fear is simply the fear that you can’t handle what life may bring you. If we knew for certain that we could handle anything that comes our way, what would we have to fear?… Nothing! So, all we really need to do to get over fear is to develop more trust in our ability to handle whatever comes our way and know that we will cope given any situation.
Fear can’t hold you back forever if you don’t let it. There are several ways to overcome fear. Here are my top 10 practical coping strategies to help combat it:
1. SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION
Ask yourself what is really going on, locate the facts and place them over your thoughts and feelings. Question your own perception. Is there any substantial evidence to support this fear or is my mind playing tricks on me?
2. IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER
Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you. Learning to identify it will help you learn how to deal with it.
3. KNOW WHERE FEAR LIVES IN YOUR BODY
A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It affects different people different ways. Identify if/how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body. For example, if you hold stress in your back, you can learn stretches, foam rolling, etc. to avoid the pain.
4. PRACTISE GRATITUDE
Everyday list out 1-3 things you are thankful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which overtime, overcomes fear. Grateful people tend to be more positive people.
5. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE
Monitor your inner conversations and be kind to yourself. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak positively, practise affirmations and remind yourself of your strengths and value… “I can handle this”.
6. CREATE A NEW ASSOCIATION
Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass. Focus on the positive outcome of the situation, rather than the scary in-between stuff. Remember what we focus on is what we feel.
7. POSITIVE THINKING – LOOK AT THE GLASS HALF FULL
Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. If you think positively, you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight – start with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have? Work on reversing this one thought. How could you reframe it differently? Overtime, positive thinking can become a habit that breaks through negativity and fear.
8. PRACTICE BREATHING EXERCISES
Breathing helps centre your body; when you stop breathing, your heart stops beating. You can do a grounding exercise, or even just take 5 deep, long breaths at any point to calm and centre yourself. It can be helpful to start your day with this, but feel free to practise all day long and whenever you feel anxious.
9. CREATE A SAFE SPACE
When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when anxious feelings begin – whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.
10. COMPLETE THE STRESS RESPONSE CYCLE
If we have truly been triggered and fear has taken over, we find ourselves in a state of fight, flight or freeze (our natural way of dealing with perceived threat) and our bodies become pumped with adrenalin and cortisol. Once we have dealt with the stressor (the cause of the fearful reaction) we need to deal with the stress response. We need to use our body in some way to communicate to our mind that we are now in a safe place. The best way to do this is to do something physical – Do some jumping jacks, or go for a walk, or tense all your muscles for a slow count of ten before releasing them. This helps to remove the stress response hormones and allows us to relax again.
Please keep in mind, these are just 10 strategies, not everything works for everyone. But this is a place to start. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your goals and your highest potential. Remember… You can handle it!